"Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up."

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Koteka

Huko Papua New Guinea (angalia ramani hapo chini) kuna kabila la Kombai ambalo bado wapo katika traditions zao na wanaume huvaa kivazi hicho (picha ya juu) kufunika nyeti zao.

Picha ya chini mwanaume wa hilo kabila akiwa amevaa hilo kufuli tayari kuendelea na shughuli za kila siku kwa ajili ya kutafuta mlo wa familia.
(shughuli kubwa ni uwindaji)

Picha ya juu wanaume wa hilo kabila wakiwa kwenye pozi bila wasiwasi.


Picha ya chini akina mama nao wakiwa katika pozi wakionekana natural kabisa


Ramani inayoonesha Papua New Guinea mahali ilipo
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koteka

Dear Parents

It has come to our attention that the strange things we hear and see through the media are happening right under our nose. (Lesbianism, Sodomy, Incest etc).

A couple was blessed with two intelligent girls; the girls were happy and performed well in school. The parents adored them very much that they never allowed them to mingle with other teenagers in the neighborhood and even in church. They moved with them everywhere and while at home the girls spend most of their time in their rooms, the parents assumed they were studying and felt happy that their kids were disciplined. One night they were woken up with a loud scream from one of the girl's bedroom, they rushed into the room only to find their daughter lying in a pool of blood, they moved closer only to see something stuck between her legs (vagina), it was a test tube, the younger girl stood there naked with no words to explain, they tried to pull it out, it broke they rushed her to the hospital but too bad, she died on arrival due to over bleeding.

When her younger sis was asked, she said with an innocent voice “we always do it at home because we see other girls do it in school, so we thought its right coz no one has ever spoken to us about it". Since she could not stand the pain of loosing her beloved sis through what she thought was right, she went back home and hanged herself in her room. The parents lost their lovely daughters out of ignorance........what is your role in bringing up your children?

Another story is told of a couple that loved their three sons very much, the two elder sons had extraordinary love for their younger brother, but their parents never suspected what all that love was until one day they noticed their younger son was wetting her pants all the time until the teachers got concerned. The boy could not say a word when asked about it but after much persuasion, the little boy said "its because Steve and Tim fuck my anus every day when they come home after school" (Steve & Tim being his two elder brothers). When they were asked they said they were treated the same when they joined high school so they decided to try it on their kid bro to feel the experience and it became and addiction which they couldn’t help and had no one to open up to..............! Do you create time to talk to your children and listen to them as a parent?

Last but not least, a couple got married and each had kids from their previous relationships. The man had two sons while the woman had two girls and they agreed not to have more but to raise the ones they had.

The woman became to0 possessive of her girls and did not allow them to interact with their step brothers, the boys complained to their dad but he brushed it off for fear of loosing his love, the girls also complained to their mum but she still shut them down. The girls grew up not knowing what to do yet they wanted to be happy with their stepbrothers.

Girls being quick in making ideas, they decided to start communicating to their stepbrothers through notes, which they threw under the door of the boys rooms. The boys were afraid at first but men being intelligent, they didn’t right back to avoid evidence, so they took action, they decided to sneak into the girls rooms at night and talk to them.

So they chatted the first day, the following day the girls also decided to sneak into the boys rooms and it became a secret routine. The boys graduated from high school and were sent abroad for further studies, they left all the notes they had received fro their step sisters on top of the beds in their rooms. The girls cried, but their mother was happy that finally they had not known the seed they had planted in the Garden of Eden.

Three months later the girls were suspended from school, what was wrong? They were pregnant. The mother was mad and bragged to the teachers how she had raised her girls with good moral values.

There was teachers/parents meeting to find out who had impregnated the girls.
when the girls were asked, the first one whispered...its Jeremy ( the elder step bro) as if to add salt to the wound the second one was asked she whispered....its Jesse (the younger step bro) their mother got a heart attack and died. She never had the opportunity to talk to the girls and give them advice.
Do you take the time God has given you as parent to guide your kids, what if you died now; will your kids be responsible enough to protect themselves morally?

Not how much he spends, but how much he loves

I don't care how much money he spends on me,
I don't care about the lavish gifts he gives me,
What matters most is the little things.
Like stroking my hair when I’m sleeping
Or giving me kisses while I lay in his arms

Just telling me he'll think of me wherever he goes
and promising me that he'll call me when he wakes up tomorrow.

What matters most is what comes from the inside when true love shows through actions that might not seem important but it is.
It is quite important.

Love is not bought with money.
Love is free

His caring ways brightens up my day and makes me linger for more
I finally feel his love, his warmth, and his emotions
Now, I remember what it feels like to be madly in love.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Ajeruhi wanandoa kwa kunyimwa penzi

Polisi wanamshikilia Leonard Nandi (25), mkazi wa Kijiji cha Safu wilayani Sumbawanga kwa tuhuma za kuwajeruhi wanandoa kwa risasi kwa kile kinachoaminika kuwa ni hasira baada ya kukataliwa kimapenzi na mmojawao.
Kamanda wa Polisi mkoani Rukwa, Isunto Mantage, amesema tukio hilo lilitokea usiku wa kuamkia Jumamosi iliyopita katika kijiji cha Nondo, wilayani Sumbawanga.
Alisema mtuhumiwa huyo anadaiwa alikwenda nyumbani kwa wanandoa hao na kuwajeruhi kwa kutumia risasi za bastola iliyotengenezwa kienyeji.

Alisema kuwa kabla ya tukio mtuhumiwa anadaiwa alimtaka kimapenzi Editha Namlenga (20), ambaye ni mke wa Essau Emmanuel, lakini alikataliwa. Kwa mujibu wa Polisi, baada ya mtuhumiwa kujibiwa hivyo aliahidi kuwa lazima atamfanyia kitu kibaya mwanamke huyo kwa kumkataa.
Walieleza kuwa siku hiyo ya Jumapili usiku Nandi alikwenda nyumbani kwa wanandoa hao na kukuta wamelala na kuanza kugonga mlango huku akimwita Editha lakini alikataa. Inadaiwa kuwa baada ya kujibiwa hivyo mtuhumiwa huyo alipiga teke mlango na kuingia chumbani kwa wanandoa hao na kuanza kuwapiga risasi.

Mantage alisema mwanamke huyo alijeruhiwa mguu wa kushoto kwenye paja huku mume wake akijeruhiwa kwenye mguu wa kushoto na kifuani. Alisema mtuhumiwa aliitupa bastola hiyo ndani na kukimbia kuelekea kusikofahamika lakini siku mbili baadaye alikamatwa katika msako wa Polisi uliofanyika kijijini hapo. Anatarajiwa kupandishwa kizimbani kujibu tuhuma zinazomkabili.


Source: Daily News; Wednesday,July 30, 2008 @20:06
http://www.habarileo.co.tz/kitaifa/?id=10935
By Gurian Adolf, Sumbawanga


Salaamu

Naitwa Emmanuel Lazarus, Napenda kuwapa salamu za dhati shangazi yangu Rehema Lupembe, Tumaini Mbilinyi, mama yangu Mkubwa Mama Noel wote wakiwa Tanzania.

Pia napenda kumsalimia Baba yangu mdogo Elly Mbilinyi akiwa Algeria, Anti Ashura Mbeyu akiwa Merphis Tannesse, Anti Subira (Binti nisipitwe) mahali popote alipo, babu na bibi wakiwa Njombe, bila kumsahau rafiki yangu mpendwa Jona akiwa Kimara Dar es salaama Tanzania.


Ujumbe: Watoto tuwe na tabia njema tusipigane

Office Romance

Mapenzi mahali pa kazi au maofisini ni kitu cha kawaida sana kusikia siku hizi, hii ni kwa sababu kushuka kwa nidhamu makazini na kwamba tunatumia muda mwingi sana kuwa ofisini kuliko nyumbani hivyo wafanyakazi huwa na muda wa pamoja kuliko hata familia.

Urafiki wa mapenzi ofisini kama hujaoa au kuolewa unaweza kukusaidia kuoa au kuolewa au unaweza kukusababishia madhara makubwa kiasi cha kufukuzwa kazi au kufungwa jela na kupata magonjwa kama UKIMWI, kuharibu taaluma yako na sifa zako, pia kuvunja ndoa za wengine kitu ambacho ni hatari zaidi.

Pia suala la mapenzi kazini huweza kusababisha kuzorota kwa utendaji na ufanisi binafsi wa mtu kazini.
Mapenzi na kazi ni vitu viwili tofauti sana ndiyo maana waajiri wengi hawaruhusu watu kujihusisha ma masuala ya mapenzi kati ya wafanyakazi.

Pia kuna utafiti unaonesha kwamba (Vault.com) nusu ya watu wanaofanya kazi maofisini huvutiwa kimapenzi na mtu mwingine wa jinsia tofauti katika ofisi moja na wengine hupelekea hata kuoana kabisa.

"Si vema kuchanganya biashara, kazi na mapenzi ofisini"

Wapo watu wamejitoa muhanga kuwaridhisha mabosi wao kwa mapenzi ili kujihakikishia kupata kazi nzuri au kuongezewa mshahara, au marupurupu au kupewa visafari kikazi au kupelekwa kusoma nje ya nchi, hata hivyo matokeo yake ni kudhalilika na wakati mwingine kujipatia bonus ya magonjwa kama HIV/AIDS.
Pia wapo mabosi au waajiri ambao bila kutembea (sex) na mtu anayemwajiri bado hajakamilisha taratibu zake za kuajiri, hii ni tabia mbaya sana na si ya kistaarabu.

Je, hali ipoje katika ofisi yako kuhusiana na suala la mapenzi kazini au ofisini?
Je, katika ofisi zetu za serikali hali ipoje?
Na huko kwenye sector binafsi hali ipoje?

Naamini kila mmoja wetu ana jibu kwa haya maswali



Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Ungefanyeje?

Mama Wawili bought a new handset and a new line.
She wanted to surprise her husband.

In the evening, the husband was in the sitting room watching TV while she was in the kitchen.
She called her husband from the kitchen "to surprise him".

The husband quickly picked up the phone, run to the bedroom without asking who was on the line (thinking that must be his girlfriend) he said:

Darling kata nitakupigia baadae kidogo, hili lijinga liko jikoni saa hizi likisikia litaanza ile mikelele yake, nalilia timing nitalitoka sasa hivi"
He then hanged up.
Ungekuwa wewe ungefanya nini kwa huyu mwanaume?

Source: mtandao


Tendo la ndoa katika umri mkubwa (II)

(Picha kwa hisani ya Corbis.com)
Kuna imani potofu nyingi kuhusiana na tendo la ndoa katika umri mkubwa zifuatazo ni baadhi tu ya hizo imani;
Kushindwa kushiriki tendo la ndoa ni matokeo ya umri kuwa mkubwa.
Tendo la ndoa ni hatari kwa wazee wenye umri mkubwa.
Uwezo au hamu ya tendo la ndoa (libido) hupungua kwa kadri mtu anavyozeeka.

Yote hapo juu si sahihi kabisa.
Hizo imani potofu zipo kwa muda mrefu na zimekuwa zikisababisha watu wenye umri mkubwa (wazee) kushindwa kufurahia tendo la ndoa au uumbaji wa Mungu.

Je, mabadiliko ya mwili kwa wanaume wazee huathiri vipi tendo la ndoa?
Kawaida wanaume wazee huhitaji muda mrefu ili kuweza kusisimka.
Kile kilichokuwa kinahitaji sekunde chache hadi dakika chache katika umri wa miaka 19 huhitaji zaidi ya dakika 15 katika umri mkubwa kwa mwanaume.

Wanaume wengi wenye umri mkubwa hupona ugonjwa wa Kukosa uwezo wa kufanya tendo la ndoa kwa kujifunza matokeo na athari za umri kwenda sana (Uzee) Katika umri ulioenda wanawake wazee wahahitaji kufahamu kwamba wanaume wazee huhitaji muda mwingi na wakutosha kuuandaa jogoo awike.

Mabadiliko mengine ambayo hutokea kwa mwanaume mzee sana ni kupotea kwa uwezo wa kufika kileleni tofauti na wakati akiwa kijana.
Hii ni kutokana na Kukosa hisia (sensation) za tendo la ndoa.
Pia kiwango cha sperms anazotoa hupungua hivyo mwanamke mzee asiwe na mtazamo wa kudhani kuwa uwingi wa sperms ndio uzuri wa tendo la ndoa.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Kuchoma daraja

Daraja lina umuhimu wake katika maisha ya kila siku.
Mara nyingi daraja hujengwa kuunganisha sehemu mbili zilizotenganishwa na mto.
Na wale ambao tumezaliwa sehemu ambazo kuna madaraja tunajua vizuri sana uzuri wa madaraja na tatizo kubwa ambalo hutokea pindi haya madaraja yanapopata matatizo kama vile Kubomoka, kuungua au kuzolewa na maji au mafuriko.

Katika suala la mahusiano pia kuna kitu kinaitwa kuchoma daraja.
Kuchoma daraja ni tabia ya kuachana na mtu katika uchumba au urafiki wa kimapenzi kwa mbwembwe za dharau kwamba humuhitaji tena na huna haja na yeye tena na hana lolote.
Kuchoma daraja ni kumdharau mtu kwamba hafikii viwango vya kuwa na urafiki na wewe kitu ambacho kinakufanya umdharau mwenzio.

Wapo ambao akina kaka au akina dada ambao hata akipata barua, au ujumbe au sms kutoka kwa kijana wa kiume au kwa dada kumtaka urafiki (mahusiano), basi hujibu ovyo au hutoa matusi kana kwamba hana haja naye au huyo kaka/dada hana maana.

Hii tabia si nzuri kwani dunia hii ni ndogo sana, ipo siku utakutana naye pale unahitaji msada wake kwani hakuna binadamu asiyemuhitaji mwingine na anaweza kuwa ni huyo unayemchomea daraja.
Tumeshuhudia watu waliochoma madaraja wakati wapo shule za msingi na ikapita miaka 10 au 15 wakaoana na kuishi pamoja na wale waliwachomea madaraja, kile kitendo cha kuchoma daraja bado kikawa kinakumbukwa hadi kwenye ndoa zao.

Kitu cha msingi hata mtu kama humpendi ni vizuri kumjibu vizuri tu akiwa anakutaka au kuomba uwe mchumba au urafiki, kwani heshima hainunuliwa ni kitu cha bure.
Matusi na dharau havifai katika dunia ya leo hata kama ni kabila ambalo hulipendi au ana sura ambayo wewe huipendi.
Wahenga walisema
"Usitukane Wakunga na Uzazi Ungalipo"

Kumjibu mtu vizuri hakuta kupunguzia kitu chochote katika maisha yako ila ukitukana watu na kuwadharau unajiharibia uzuri wako bure.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Jana niliamua (mimi na familia yangu) kumtembelea rafiki yangu Frank anayeishi mji mdogo wa Deep River Ontario.
Lengo lilikuwa kunionesha jinsi portable sawmill inavyofanya kazi. Lazarus, Gloria na Emmnuel
Ofisi yetu tukirudi kijijini






Hapa tunajifunza kupasua ubao wenye Quality ya juu.

Lazarus, Gloria na Emmnuel Kila mtu anaondoka na ubao wake











Kila mtu na hoby yake







Familia tuliyoitembelea









Namna ya Kutunza Wosia

BAADHI ya watu wamekuwa wakipata taharuki mara baada ya kuandia wosia, wapo walioshindwa kabisa kuelewa ni namna gani wanaweza kuutunza.
Kwa walio wengi, hii ni hoja ya kuumiza vichwa hasa kwa kuzingatia kwamba imetokea mara kadhaa kwa baadhi ya wanandugu kujitokeza na kudai kuwa marehemu alikwisha wateua kuwa wasimamizi au warithi wa mali fulani kupitia wosia wa maandishi ambao kwa bahati mbaya haujulikani ulipo.
Kwa baadhi ya familia mara kadhaa hutokea kwa watu wa aina hiyo kupewa mali au usimamizi wa mali kwa kuwa ni watu ambao huheshimika au huogopewa na wanafamilia wengine, hivyo hakuna ambaye huthubutu kumpinga pindi anapotoa maelezo kama hayo na hivyo kupoteza haki za watoto na wajane ambao wanastahili kurithi mali ya marehemu wao kisheria.
Watu wa aina hii pia hutumia udhaifu huu kwamba wosia alioachiwa na marehemu ni ule wa maneno ya mdomo ambao hata hivyo aliachiwa akiwa yeye na marehemu tu. Kwa sababu ama ya heshima kama nilivyoeleza au woga, na wakati mwingine hata ukosefu wa elimu ya sheria inayosimamia mambo ya mirathi.
Katika hali hiyo, familia nyingi huishia kukubaliana na watu wa aina hii na hivyo kumkabidhi majukumu yote yahusuyo mali ya marehemu kwa imani kuwa ndiye chaguo la marehemu.
Kwa upande wa sheria, pamoja na mapungufu kadhaa iliyonayo, haikuusahau mwanya huu kwamba unaweza kutumiwa na wajanja wachache kudhulumu watu dhaifu hasa wajane na watoto.
Kama tulivyoona katika makala zilizotangulia kuwa uhalali wa wosia wa maneno ya mdomo ni sharti utolewe mbele ya mashahidi wasiopungua wanne wawili kati yao wakiwa ni wa ukoo wa mwenye wosia na waliobaki wanaweza kuwa watu wengine mbali na ndugu.
Sasa, kwa sababu sheria imeweka msingi huo kwa wosia wa maneno ya mdomo, pia kwa upande wa pili ni msingi huo huo utumikao katika kutunza wosia husika.
Kwamba, utunzaji wa wosia wa maneno unaweza kufanywa na msimamizi aliyeteuliwa na mhusika, sambamba na mashahidi wa wosia huo, kwani hakuna namna nyingine ya kuweza kupata tamko la marehemu juu ya mali yake kwa kutumia wosia wa maneno ya mdomo, zaidi ya kuwasikiliza mashahidi na msimamizi aliyeteuliwa na mwenye wosia kupitia wosia huo.
Kwa mantiki hiyo, unaweza kuona udhaifu wa aina hii ya wosia na jinsi ambavyo unaweza kuleta usumbufu miongoni mwa wanandugu na wanafamilia wengine waliobakia, hasa ukijiuliza endapo mashahidi hao watashindwa kupatikana.
Tukigeukia upande wa wosia wa maandishi, tunajifunza pia ya kuwa ili ukubalike mbele ya jicho la sheria, ni sharti uandikaji wake ufanyike na kushuhudiwa na mashahidi wanaojua kusoma na kuandika wasiopungua wawili ambao mmoja ni wa ukoo wa mwenye wosia, na mwingine anaweza kuwa mtu yeyote ajuaye kusoma na kuandika bila ya tatizo.
Mashahidi hawa wote hutakiwa kuweka saini zao katika karatasi iliyoandikiwa wosia husika sambamba na mwenye wosia.
Utunzaji wa wosia wa aina hii unaweza kufanywa kwa namna nyingi tofauti na wosia wa mdomo.
Kwanza msimamizi aliyeteuliwa kusimamia mirathi husika, anaweza kupewa kipaumbele katika kufanya utunzaji huu muhimu na yeye ajihakikishe kuwa anaweza kuutunza kwa uaminifu na bila ya shaka na hatimaye kuuwasilisha siku yoyote endapo utahitajika kufanyiwa kazi.
Lakini mbali na msimamizi huyo, wosia huu pia unaweza kutunzwa kwa kutumia taasisi mbalimbali zinazoshughulika na utunzaji wa nyaraka mbalimbali kama vile mahakama, benki, makanisa kwa Wakiristo na Misikiti kwa Waislam.
Taasisi hizi zote hujigawa katika vitengo mbalimbali ambavyo ni pamoja na vya utunzaji wa nyaraka mbalimbali ikiwamo wosia. Hivyo basi, kwa mwandikaji wa wosia, ni vema baada ya kuandika wosia wake akawajulisha watu wake wote na hasa warithi wake halali, kuwa amekwishaacha wosia ambao unaeleza maamuzi yake juu ya mali yake na mambo mengine yahusuyo familia, ambao ameuhifadhi katika moja ya taasisi hizo nilizozibainisha.
Hata kama ni wosia wa mdomo, ni vema pia akawajulisha warithi wake kuwa wosia wake huo ulishuhudiwa na akina nani, japo mara nyingi wosia wa maneno hutolewa na mwenye wosia wakati akiwa katika hali mbaya kiafya kiasi cha kushindwa hata kutambua taratibu zinazohitajika katika kuacha wosia kwa watu wake.
Si vibaya endapo atawaeleza kuwa katika wosia huo ameelekeza nini ili kuwarahisishia kazi ya kuuchambua na kuutafsiri baada ya yeye kufariki.
Source: Na Mohamed Majaliwa
Gazeti la Mwanachi
(http://mwananchi.co.tz/newsre.asp?id=6112)

Friday, July 25, 2008

Tendo la ndoa katika Umri Mkubwa

Je, wazee wenye umri mkubwa bado huwa hamu kubwa ya tendo la ndoa?
Utafiti wa sasa unaonesha kwamba jinsi mtu anavyozidi kuwa mzee uwezo wa kuonja, kunusa, kusikia na kuona hupungua.
Pia uwezo wa kusisimuliwa kwa kuguswa hupungua pia.
Kiasili uwezo wa kusisimuliwa kimapenzi na uwezo wa kufanya tendo la ndoa pia hupungua (libido)Pia Utafiti unaonesha kwamba uwezo wa kufanya mapenzi huweza kupunguza kutokana na umri kuwa mkubwa ingawa pia umri kuwa mkubwa hauwezi kuzuia kabisa hamu ya tendo la ndoa (terminate)

Kuna ripoti kwamba wanaume na wanawake wenye umri wa miaka 50 hadi 80 bado wana hamu kubwa ya kufanya mapenzi (libido) na si kufanya tu bali kufurahia mno tendo lenyewe.

Tutaendelea .............................................................

Thursday, July 24, 2008

This is what is wrong with Africans/black people

Wengine wanasema watu weusi akili ni kidogo, wengine watu weusi akili yao ni ngoma, ngono na pombe tu huku mambo mengine wakiona hayana maana.
Pia bara letu ndo hivyo hali inazidi kuwa mbaya kila kukicha.
Sijui inakuwaje?

THEY ARE STILL OUR SLAVES We can continue to reap profits from the Blacks without the effort of physical slavery Look at the current methods of containment that they use on themselves:

IGNORANCE,

GREED, and

SELFISHNESS.

Their IGNORANCE is the primary weapon of containment. A great man once said, 'The best way to hide something from Black people is to put it in a book.' We now live in the Information Age. They have gained the opportunity to read any book on any subject through the efforts of their fight for freedom, yet they refuse to read. There are numerous books readily available at Borders, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon.com, not to mention their own Black Bookstores that provide solid blueprints to reach economic equality (which should have been their fight all along), but few read consistently, if at all.

GREED is another powerful weapon of containment. Blacks, since the abolition of slavery, have had large amounts of money at their disposal. Last year they spent 10 billion dollars during Christmas, out of their 450 billion dollars in total yearly income (2.22%).

Any of us can use them as our target market for any business venture we care to dream up, no matter how outlandish, they will buy into it. Being primarily a consumer people, they function totally by greed. They continually want more, with little thought for saving or investing.

They would rather buy some new sneaker than invest in starting a business. Some even neglect their children to have the latest Tommy or FUBU, and they still think that having a Mercedes, and a big house gives them ‘Status’ or that they have achieved their Dream.

They are fools! The vast majority of their people are still in poverty because their greed holds them back from collectively making better communities.

With the help of BET, and the rest of their black media that often broadcasts destructive images into their own homes, we will continue to see huge profits like those of Tommy and Nike. (Tommy Hilfiger has even jeered them, saying he doesn't want their money, and look at how the fools spend more with him than ever before!). They'll continue to show off to each other while we build solid communities with the profits from our businesses that we market to them.

SELFISHNESS, ingrained in their minds through slavery, is one of the major ways we can continue to contain them. One of their own, Dubois said that there was an innate division in their culture. A ‘Talented Tenth’ he called it. He was correct in his deduction that there are segments of their culture that has achieved some 'form' of success. However, that segment missed the fullness of his work. They didn't read that the 'Talented Tenth' was then responsible to aid The Non-Talented Ninety Percent in achieving a better life. Instead, that segment has created another class, a Buppie class that looks down on their people or aids them in a condescending manner. They will never achieve what we
have. Their selfishness does not allow them to be able to work together on any project or endeavour of substance. When they do get tog ether, their selfishness lets their egos get in the way of their goal. Their so-called help organizations seem to only want to promote their name without making any real change in their community.

They are content to sit in conferences and conventions in our hotels, and talk about what they will do, while they award plaques to the best speakers, not to the best doers. Is there no end to their selfishness? They steadfastly refuse to see that TOGETHER EACH ACHIEVES MORE (TEAM)
They do not understand that they are no better than each other because of what they own, as a matter of fact, most of those Buppies are but one or two pay checks away from poverty. All of which is under the control of our pens in our offices and our rooms.

Yes, we will continue to contain them as long as they refuse to read, continue to buy anything they want, and keep thinking they are 'helping' their communities by paying dues to organizations which do little other than hold lavish conventions in our hotels. By the way, don't worry about any of them reading this letter, remember,

'THEY DON'T READ!!!!

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back
1. Time
2. Words
3. Opportunity

Three things in life that can destroy a person
1. Anger
2. Pride
3. Unforgiveness

Three things in life that you should never lose-
1. Hope
2. Peace
3. Honesty

Three things in life that are most valuable
1. Love
2. Family & Friends
3. Kindness

Three things in life that are never certain
1. Fortune
2. Success
3. Dreams

Three things that make a person
1. Commitment
2. Sincerity
3. Hard work

Three things that are truly constant
Father - Son - Holy Spirit

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Binadamu bwana!

Uyoga mwingine nao! sijui unaotaje?

Jamaa mmoja alikuwa akitokea shamba pamoja na mkewe. Wakiwa njiani
waliona uyoga, wakaung'oa na kwenda nao nyumbani kwa lengo la kwenda
kupika na kuula. Lakini kabla ya kufika nyumbani, wakahofu kwenda kula ule
uyoga wakihisi unaweza kuwa si uyoga wa kula.

Basi wakaamua wapike uyoga kidogo,na kiasi waubakishe, halafu ule waliopika wampe mbwa wao, asipokufa mbwa basi ule waliobakisha nao wale.
Mbwa akala uyoga ule. Wakakaa siku ya kwanza,ya pili, mbwa hajafa
wakaamua wapike ule uyoga uliobakia nao wakala.
Walipomaliza kula tu, mara mtoto wao wa kiume akaingia ndani akitokea shule, na kuwaeleza wazazi kuwa amemuona mbwa wao amekufa.

Wazazi wakapigwa na butwaa wakijua basi nao mwisho wa maisha yao umefika, na muda wowote watakufa tu kwa kuwa nao wamekula uyoga kama mbwa alivyokula.
Basi yule baba akaamua kumwambia mkewe anaomba atubu mbele yake kwa
kuwa kifo kinamjia wakati wowote.
Jamaa akaanza kumwambia mkewe amsamehe kwani ni maovu mengi alifanya.

Kwanza msichana wa kazi waliyemfukuza akiwa na ujauzito, ule ni ujauzito wake. Mdogo wake na mkewe wa kike anayeishi naye pale ni mpenzi wake wa siku nyingi. Pia ana watoto wengine watatu nje ya ndoa, na kila mtoto ana mama yake.
Mama akasema nashukuru kwa hayo yote, Basi naomba nami nitubu Kwako.Huyu mtoto wa kiume mdogo si wako nilizaa na Shamba boy wetu na huu ujauzito nilionao sasa ni wa mpangaji wetu humu ndani.
Jamaa kusikia hayo akapandwa na jazba ukawa ugomvi mkubwa mule ndani.
Wakati wakigombana, mara mtoto wao wa kwanza wa kike akaingia ndani na kukuta wakigombana.

Akawauliza ,Baba na mama mnagombania nini humu
ndani,badala ya kwenda kuona mbwa wetu amekufa kwa kugongwa na gari kule nje?
Wazazi waliposikia kuwa mbwa amekufa kwa kugongwa na gari walibaki wanatazamana na kupigwa na bumbu wazi.
FIKIRIA !
KAMA NIWEWE UNGE FANYAJE?


Source: Mtandao

FUKUTO LA PENZI

Kawaida mahusiano ni kama kujenga nyumba ambayo ujenzi wake hudumu na kudumu hata kama ipo siku utaamua kuishi kwenye hiyo nyumba bado utaendelea na kufanya repair kila siku na kila mara.

Hivyo basi, ili ndoa yako iwe tamu na kuteka nafsi ya yule unampenda basi hakikisha huu mwezi unafanyia kazi mambo Yafuatayo;

Mapumziko ya pamoja:
Inatakiwa kujadili na kupata muda wa kuwa peke yenu, hii inawezekana ikawa mara mbili au tatu kwa mwezi, hata kama mna watoto wengi kiasi gani lakini faraja inayotukuka katika mapenzi ni kuwa pamoja. Tafuteni siku maalum ambayo mtatulia, mtajadili mambo yenu kwa usiri na mtatenda chochote kinachostahili, hapa mtashangaa kuona mnatengeneza penzi ambalo kwa muda mrefu mlikuwa hamjalipata.
Watu wanaokaa pamoja wakajifungia sehemu kwa zaidi ya masaa matatu manne si rahisi kuwa na kisirani, kwa vile kwa kukaa hivi kila mtu anakuwa na muda mzuri wa kumrekebisha mwenzake.
Kutafuta raha katika mwili:
Unatakiwa uwe mwepesi wa kuzigusa sehemu zinazomsisimua mwenzako hii inapendeza ikawa ni siku zile zile mnazoziteua kukaa pamoja, hata kama siku hiyo hamkuwa na ahadi za kutenda mambo yoyote ya kuchosha lakini ukishapita katika sehemu mbili kati ya 29 zenye raha basi ujue umetengeneza mapenzi mapya.
Kuondoa woga:
Hili nimekuwa nikilipigia kelele siku nyingi kwamba mpenzi wako hustahili kumwogopa, japokuwa kuna mila kama hizo ambazo mumeo unaweza ukamuona kama baba, hii si mbaya lakini ubaba huu uwe na mipaka na inapofikia wakati raha inahitajika basi kila vurumai lazima zitumike.
Yapo mambo mengi sana ambayo unaweza kufanya ili kuhakikisha penzi na yule umpendaye linazidi kuwa na fukuto kubwa zaidi kama vile kupeana zawadi, kuhakikisha unaongea maneno yanayomtia moyo na kumsifia vitu anafanya nk.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Mapenzi na Matarajio

Tupo kwenye safari ya mapenzi, na kila mmoja anapopata mwenzi anakuwa na matarajio yake.

Inawezekana yakawa ya dhahiri au siri ya moyo wako lakini yote kwa yote ni kwamba wote maisha yetu ya kiuhusiano huyajengea picha katika fikra na kutamani iwe hivyo bila upungufu wa aina yoyote.
Katika fikra zetu, huwaumba wenzi wetu na kutaka wafanane vile tunavyotaka, huwaza mambo ambayo tunapenda watufanyie, ingawa shaka iliyopo nyuma ya mambo yote hayo ni kwamba hutokea kwa nadra sana mtu kuvuta hisia na kufikiria kumfurahisha mwenzake.

Hata hivyo, ni vema ukajua kuwa matarajio mengi huzaa mambo ambayo tunayaita ni matatizo.
Labda, swali la kujiuliza ni hili, ni kwanini matarajio yazae matatizo?

Jibu ni hili, katika matarajio kuna matokeo ya aina mbili, kutimia au kinyume chake, pia ifahamike kuwa kutotimia ndiyo zao la matatizo.

Ni kwanini matarajio?

Mwanasaikolojia Guy Finley ambaye huandika mada zake nyingi kupitia mtandao wa intaneti aliwahi kuandika:

“Kulaumu wengine kwa mateso tunayopata kila wakati, mtu kushindwa kuishi kwa matarajio, haina tofauti na kuunguza ndimi zetu kwa kahawa ambayo ni ya moto mno hata kuitema, lakini katika hilo, tunakilaumu kikombe kwamba ni pumbavu!”
Kimsingi, matarajio katika tamaduni zetu ni jambo la kawaida.
Lakini hutofautiana kati ya mtu mmoja hadi mwingine.
Watu makini mambo yao huwa na mpangilio unaoeleweka, hivyo matarajio yao hutoa sauti kubwa.

Wenzangu na mimi ambao maisha yao ni rahisi kuyatafsiri kama “misingi wenyewe”, matarajio yao huwa hayana uelekeo wa kutimia, yaani ni sawa na kumpigia mbuzi gitaa, muziki utachezeka?
Kuna sababu mbalimbali ambazo huchagiza matarajio kutotimia. umalaya, kuwaumiza wenzetu, hivyo kukatishana tamaa ni mambo ambayo mwanasaikolojia Larry James wa tovuti ya Love Celebration, aliyaandika kuwa ni sumu kubwa ambayo hufanya uhusiano uende ndivyo sivyo.

Kwa mfano, kama ninataraji wewe unipende katika njia moja, na penzi lako likawa halikidhi kwangu, hapo ni lazima nitavunjika moyo. Njia nzuri ni kujitahidi kupata mahitaji ambayo yatakamilisha upendo wako.

Katika hilo, ni busara kumruhusu mpenzi wako akupende kama ambavyo unataka. Hebu fikiria hili, unahitaji kupendwa katika njia moja, lakini penzi unalopewa linakuwa halina nguvu, hiyo ni ishara ya wazi kwamba matarajio hayatotimia.
Sumu nyingine ambayo husababisha matarajio yasitimie ni kutokuwa na mawasiliano ya hisia, mmoja anajua mwenzake anataka nini, lakini si ajabu mwingine akawa hajui wala hajishughulishi kutafuta. Unaona tatizo lililopo?

Ni lazima kuwe na mawasiliano. Mahitaji yanapaswa kujadiliwa. Unatakiwa kuwa muangalifu ili kuona ni mambo yapi yanatakiwa kuzingatiwa ili kuuimarisha uhusiano wako.
“Kutarajia mazuri,” ni mtazamo bora kuliko kitu kingine. Baadhi husema, “Kama unarajia mambo mazuri katika uhusiano wako, kila kitu kitakwenda barabara.” Kusema ule ukweli ni kwamba hii ni hadithi.

Hali itakwenda kulingana na wewe unavyoratibu mambo yako, na utavunjika moyo pale utakapogundua kwamba mambo hayaendi katika mpangilio ulioutaka.
Hupati yale ambayo siku zote ulitamani.

Mara nyingi huwa tunataka wenzi wetu wafanye mambo sahihi kwa ajili yetu, na pale wanapotenda yale ambayo hayakongi hisia zetu, hujawa na hasira au kuvunjika moyo.
Angalizo: “Bila matarajio, utakuwa na vitu vichache vya kukatisha tamaa!”

Imeandikwa na SHULUWA JOSEPH
Source: Mtandao


Friday, July 18, 2008

Be Strong; Keep on Going

God has a perfect plan for our lives.
But he cannot move us to the next step of his plan until we joyfully accept our present situation as part of the plan.
What happens next is God’s move, not ours

Smile and the world will smile with you; cry and you will cry alone.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Miujiza bado ipo!

Soma hadi Mwisho

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.

To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a
month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. >From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove
alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of
intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of
intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry
mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I
held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to
school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life
lacked intimacy.

I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without
locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...
I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I
do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do
you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then
slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove
away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers
for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled
and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for
happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be
your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that
build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage

Ndoa; kama kujenga Nyumba

Kujenga ndoa kuna fanana sana na kujenga jengo lolote kama nyumba tunazoishi.
Kwanza unaanza kwa kuwa na michoro mizuri (plan) na hatimaye unajenga jengo lenyewe.
Ndoa ni mahusiano ya juu sana kwa binadamu ni maamuzi ya ku-share moyo, akili, mwili; vyote kwa pamoja.

Katika kujenga jengo lolote suala la vifaa (material) haliwezi kukwepeka kwani ndivyo husaidia jengo kusimama na ndoa ni hivyo hivyo kuna tools ambazo lazima utumie katika kujenga ndoa imara.

Kabla ya kununua hizo tools za kutumia kujenga ndoa kumbuka kwamba wewe na mwenzi wako wote mpo timu moja na lengo si kushindana kwani hatuhitaji mshindi bali tunahitaji kufanya kazi kama timu.
Ndoa si nani anashinda bali ni wanandoa wote kuelekeza nguvu kusukuma au kuvuta kama kuelekea upande mmoja.
Katika ndoa si lazima ushinde kila mgogoro unapojitokeza na wewe kuwa sahihi kuliko mwenzio bali ni kusaidiana na kumtanguliza mwenzako.

Kifaa cha kwanza ni kuwasiliana.
Ni muhimu kuwa na mwasiliana ya pamoja kila siku. Tunapozungumzia mawasiliano tunaenda katika nyanja zote zinazomuhusu mtu pamoja na kuhusisha milango yote mitano ya fahamu yaanu kuguswa, kunuswa, kusikia, kuonana na kuonja hahaha!
Hapa ni mawasiliano ya kihisia, kiakili, kimwili na kiroho

Kihisia (Emotionally): jitahidi kutiana moja kati yenu na pia fahamu kwamba katika kuwasiliana ni asilimia 7 tu ni maneno asilimia 93 ni jinsi ya tone ya sauti yako na body language. Jinsi unavyoonekana wakati mwenzako anaongea na sauti yako unavyojibu huwasilisha hisia zako kwa mwenzi wako hivyo uwe makini kuhakikisha humuumizi. Watu wanapanda gari wote kwenda kazini na hawaongei hadi wanafika na hata wakiongea majibu ni mkato tu, kihisia hapo kuna jambo.

Kiakili: je, kuna gazeti umesoma na kuna kitu kimekufurahisha nawe wataka mwenzi wako ajue?
Mweleze basi. Je, una story yoyote unataka kumsimulia mkeo au mumeo msimulie basi.

Kimwili: mpe miguso mingi tu ambayo si ile ya chumbani wakati unataka ile kitu. Mkumbatie, mbusu, mshike mkono, unampompa mguso (touch) maana yake unamjali na touch ni hitaji la msingi la binadamu. Kama mnaweza oga pamoja it is so fun and so nice.

Kiroho: kuna wanandoa wengi husahau kushirikiana katika mambo ya kiroho hata kama wapo imani moja. Unahitaji kumuombea mwenzi wako, na pia unahitaji kuomba pamoja kama wanandoa hii husaidia kuinua mahusiano yenu. Imba pamoja nyimbo za kumsifu Mungu. Soma Neno kwa pamoja na kila mmmoja kushiriki kutafakari.

Kifaa cha pili ni kubariki
Mbariki mwenzi wako kila iitwapo leo.
Anza leo kutoa maneno ya baraka kwa mume wako au mke wako hata kama hukuzaliwa familia ambayo imekuridhisha kumbariki mwenzako.
Mpe sifa anazostahili kwa mambo mazuri anafanya, inawezekana anafanya kazi kwa juhudi, anapika vizuri, anakutunza vizuri, anakupenda, anakurishisha kitandani, mwambia “asante, nakupenda, pole sana, ubarikiwe, unapendeza nk.
Hata kama wewe ni mgumu mno kutoa neno la baraka basi anza leo kwa neno lolote dogo unaloona mwenzi wako amekufanyia.

Kifaa cha tatu ni kushirikiana
Shirikiana mambo mengi katika maisha kwa kadri mnavyoweza.
Kuwa pamoja katika muda, mawazo, kucheza, kutazama TV program pamoja, kikombe cha kahawa au chai pamoja, kusafisha nyumba pamoja, kuendesha baiskeli pamoja., kula chakula sehemu pamoja, kufanya vitu mmoja anapenda pamoja nk.
Mnapotumia muda pamoja husaidia kuwaunganisha zaidi na kuwa kitu kimoja.

Kifaa cha nne ni kuitia bila kulaumu kwanza
Usibishe, itikia kwa kukubali kwanza. Jinsi unavyoitikia kuna elezea zaidi kuliko vitendo wakati mwingine.
Je, kama mume wako au mke wako amechelewa kurudi nyumbani, na hajapiga simu, huwa una respond vipi. Kitu cha msingi si kurukia na kuanza kulaumu bali kwanza kumsikiliza na kujua sababu ni ipi kuliko kulalamika na kuanzisha moto au zogo la nguvu.

"Ndoa haijengwi wa vitu tunavyonunua dukani tu, bali hujengwa kwa upendo kwanza"

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Unatishia kumwacha mkeo, anaondoka kweli unaduwaa!

Wanaume lazima tukubali kwamba bila kiumbe huyu (Mwanamke) bado hatujakamilika na bado huyu kiumbe anabaki wa thamani upende usipende.
(picha kwa hisani ya dada H. Tanzania)
Mpenzi msomaji, katika maisha haya tunayoishi, wapo watu wenye tabia ya kutishia wenzao baada ya mizozo mbalimbali.
Yupo anayemtishia mwenzake eti asipoangalia atamuua, mwingine anamtishia kumnyima kitu fulani iwe fedha, chakula na kadhalika.
Kwa wengine matishio wanayotoa ni hasira tu wale hayamaanishi maamuzi ya kweli.
Kwa maneno ya mitaani huwa wanasema ``anamtishia nyau.`` Si unajua hata mtoto anayelia ukiigiza mlio wa nyau huwa ananyamaza! Hudhani ni nyau kweli kumbe danganya toto.
Huku wengine wakichukulia matishio mengine ni utani, hebu sikia kisanga hiki ambapo familia imejikuta ikisambaratika kisa mume kamtishia nyau mkewe kwamba atamuacha kama hakuwa makini.
Kisa hiki mpenzi msomaji, kanisimulia mama mwenyewe yaliyomkuta ambapo sasa anaishi na mume mwingine na tayari wamezaa mtoto mmoja.
Baba huyu (mume wa pili wa mama huyu), ni mume wa mtu mwenye familia yake inayoishi hapa hapa jijini.
Naam, ilikuwaje? Kwa mujibu wa simulizi ya mama huyu rafiki yangu, aliwahi kuolewa na mwanaume mmoja wakazaa watoto wawili, msichana na mvulana. Mama akiwa anakaa nyumbani, huku mume akihangaika na biashara.
Mara kwa mara mume huyu akiwa anamwambia mkewe kuwa iko siku atamwacha.
Tishio hili, kwa mujibu wa mkewe lilikuwa linamkera sana. (hata hivyo binafsi siamini bwana yule alikuwa anasema vile bila sababu.
Lipo jambo ambalo mke huyu alinificha).
Naam. Baada ya mke kutafakari kwa muda, eti akaamua kutafuta chumba sehemu nyingine kwa siri bila mumewe kujua.
Baada ya kukipata, akatafuta mzozo ili apate mwanya wa kuondokea. Huku na huko akamvizia mume akiwa anakula na kumuuliza; hivi hilo tishio kwamba iko siku utaniacha lina maana gani? Mume akahamaki na kusema; unadhani utani? Nitakuacha kweli, wanawake mbona tele, hujui mke mmoja anakinaisha? Maneno hayo kwa mujibu wa mama huyu yalimchefua kweli kweli. Lilizuka zogo la kishoka ambapo (mama aliamua kwenda kulala. Asubuhi mume akaenda kazini kwake hadi jioni.
Huku nyuma mama akafungasha vitu vyake akavipeleka kwenye makao yake mapya, kisha kurejea ili amsubiri mume amuage. Ilikuwa ni kichekesho kitupu.
Bwana kurejea nyumbani alimkuta mke akiwa sebuleni huku kashika tama (mkono shavuni). Mume kuuliza kulikoni ``nilimjibu nimesubiri nikuage, si umekuwa ukiniambia iko siku utaniacha? Sasa hivi naondoka, siwezi kuvumilia kuachwa heri nikuache wewe mapema, watoto wako nakuachia pia japo huyu wa pili ni mdogo, kwa heri ya kuonana? Mpenzi msomaji, hivi ndivyo mama huyu alivyoondoka kwa mumewe kama alivyonisimulia mwenyewe.
Bwana yule hakuamini macho wala masikio yake akabakia ameduwaa asijue la kusema.
Pengine alikuwa akijutia kauli yake ya kumwacha mkewe siku moja. Kwa mujibu wa mama huyu kule makao mapya akatafuta sehemu ya kupikia vyakula (mamantilie) akafanikiwa na ndipo akampata mzee mmoja aliyekuwa mteja wake na katika mazungumzo ya mara kwa mara wakawa wapenzi na sasa mzee huyu amempangishia chumba eneo jirani na anakofanya kazi. Na siku mama huyu ananisimulia kisa hiki walikuwa wote na mzee pamoja na mtoto wao.
Mpenzi msomaji, nilipotaka kujua mume wa awali wa mama huyu yuko wapi niliambiwa tayari alishafariki. Pia mmoja wa watoto (yule mdogo) naye aliugua akafariki ambapo yule mkubwa ameolewa na ameshazaa.
Mwanamama huyu anasema amejaribu kumsaka bintiye huyo bila mafanikio. Yasemekana baba yake kabla ya kuaga dunia aliagiza kuwa mtoto huyo asipewe mamake kutokana na ukatili aliomfanyia wa kumuacha huku bado alikuwa anampenda kwa dhati. Hakika, Maisha Ndivyo yalivyo.
Jamaa alifikiri anatishia nyau kumbe yakawa ni kweli. Kisa hiki kinatukumbusha kuwa makini na kauli tunazotoa midomoni mwetu kwani zingine ni mauti kwetu.
Hata hivyo yawezekana mama na baba wa familia niliyogusia hapo juu, wote walikuwa na matatizo Fulani ambayo hayakuwa dhahiri.
Mume kumtishia kumwacha lazima lipo jambo alilokuwa akifanya mkewe lisilompendeza.
Na mke huyu pengine naye alishamchoka mumewe hivyo kutafuta sababu za kutengana au kuachana.
Huwezi kujua. Nyumba za watu zimeficha mengi.
Utaona baba na mama wakicheka pale wanapokuwa na wageni sebuleni, lakini wakiondoka huo moto unaowaka humo ndani ni balaa tupu. Wengine hawalali chumba kimoja au kitanda kimoja. Wengine tokea wanaingia garini kwenda kazini hadi wanafika hawaongei, hawacheki.
Maisha gani hayo?
Tumrudie Mungu abariki nyumba zetu.
Kwani amri kuu aliyotuachia `upendo tupendane`, tumeiweka kando. Turejeshe upendo ili amani na utulivu vitawale maisha yetu.
Au siyo msomaji wangu?
Maisha Ndivyo yalivyo.
Kama unayo maoni, ushauri usiache kunikandamizia fwingia@yahoo.com

· SOURCE: Nipashe
Tarehe 2008-07-13 22:16:58
Na Anti Flora Wingia

Ndivyo wanavyosema!

Wakati mwingine tairi la baiskeli linapojazwa upepo hupiga kelele sana, sijui kwa nini? Asilimia 60 ya wanawake na asilimia 69 ya wanaume wamethibitisha katika Utafiti kwamba kujaribu aina mpya ya mkao wakati wa kufanya mapenzi huongeza kuridhika kwa tendo la ndoa. Hizi takwimu ni baada ya kuwafanyia Utafiti wanawake na wanaume 1,000
Source: Katy Zvolerin, spokesperson, Adam & Eva

Mwanaume kufanya sex mara kwa mara humsaidia kuzalisha sperms bora.
Hii ni baada ya kufanya Utafiti kwa wanaume 6,000 ambao walikuwa hawafanyi mapenzi zaidi ya wiki mbili na kuendelea.
Ilionesha kwamba 1/3 ya hao wanaume, sperms zao zilipopimwa zilionesha mabadiliko ya shape na ubora tofauti na wanaume ambao walikuwa wanaendelea na tendo la ndoa kila siku.
Source: Eliabu Levitas, MD Fertility Specialist Soroka Medical Center, Israel.

Sex huongeza uwezo wa ubongo kufanya kazi kwa maana kwamba unapofanya sex unaongeza uwezo wa mwili kuzalisha homoni za lactin zinazosaidia kuzaliana kwa seli mpya za ubongo zinazowezesha ubongo kuwa na uwezo zaidi.
Source; Samuel Weiss, PhD, neurological stem cell biology expert, university of Calgary Canada


Mwanamke anapokuwa amesisimka uke hupanuka na urefu wake huongezeka pia kitendo kinacho create vacuum kwenye uke. Wakati wa sex hewa husukumwa ndani na kunasa huko na wanavyoendelea na tendo la ndoa hutokea msukumo na mgandamizo ambao husababisha kelele za ajabu. Si kelele za mdomoni wala kitanda bali kelele cha uke kama vile tyre la baiskeli linavyopiga kelele wakati mwingine linavyojazwa upepo kimaridadi kabisa.
Hivyo ni jambo la kawaida na haina haja kubabaika ukiona huko chini kunapiga kelele wakati mumeo anachimba madini kwenye huo mgodi ni kawaida, si ugonjwa wala kitu cha kushangaza.
Keep on enjoying.
Source: Muuliza swali kutoka duniani!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Think Big

In life there is no success without hardships, it is part of life.
If you think big you will encounter setbacks from time to time.

"You are defeated only when you accept defeat".

Train you mind to accept bigger and bigger goals.
Make a commitment to do big things and you will find a way to do it.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Jinsi ya kuthibiti hasira

Hawa kweli walikuwa wanazipiga au utani? mbona kuna jamaa kule ukutani anachapa uji (kikombe na kijiko) wakati wenzake wanazipiga na wala hawaamlii? WAKATI mwingine, hasira na kuchanganyikiwa kwetu kunasababishwa na matatizo yasiyozuilika katika maisha yetu ya kila siku.
Si kila hasira haina mpangilio, na mara nyingi inatokana na mambo ya kiafya, ni hali ya asili inayojitokeza katika mambo tunayokutana nayo.
Njia sahihi ya kukabiliana na tatizo linalokukabili, ambalo linakusababishia hasira, si tu kulenga katika kutafuta muafaka, lakini zaidi ni jinsi gani ya kulichukua na kukabiliana nalo.
Kutatua matatizo yanayokusababishia hasira kutaleta matokeo mazuri, lakini pia si kujiadhibu mwenyewe kama jibu halitakuja kama ulivyotarajia.
Watu wenye hasira mara nyingi hurukia jambo na kulifanyia maamuzi, lakini baadhi ya maamuzi hayo yanaweza yasiwe sahihi.
Kitu cha kwanza cha kufanya kama upo kwenye majadiliano makali ni kupunguza hasira na kufikiri juu ya majibu yako unayoyatoa.Katika majadiliano hayo, kamwe usiseme kitu cha kwanza kinachokujia kichwani pako, bali tuliza hasira na fikiri kwa uangalifu juu ya kile unachotaka kukisema. Wakati huo huo, sikiliza kwa makini mtu mwingine anachokisema na jipatie muda kabla ya kujibu.

Kwa habari zaidi soma makala nzima kama ilivyoandikwa na dada Lucy Ngowi kwenye blog yake

http://lngowi.blogspot.com/2008/06/jinsi-ya-kudhibiti-hasira.html


Muathikrika wa ndoa

Asili ya Ndoa ni Mungu.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Dege Hilo AirBus 380














































Tabia zinazokera katika ndoa

Wengine hata siku moja hatandiki kitanda na wengine wamewaachia mahouse girl wawatandikie vitanda vyao.
Kuna tabia nyingi sana kwenye ndoa ambazo husumbua sana hata kufikia mahali kwa wengine kuhatarisha uhusiano wao kwa sababu mtu huendelea kurudia kile kile hata akiambiwa na mwenzake.
Mfano wa tabia ambazo husumbua sana kwa baadhi ya wanandoa ni kama vile:-Kuchelewa yaani kutojali muda.
Kuendesha vibaya gari na kuwa na ufahamu mdogo sana kujua maeneo.
Kutosaidia kazi za nyumbani hata kama mwenzake akiwa amechoka.
Kushika remote na kutaka wote kuangalia channel moja ya TV ambayo yeye anataka.

Kutojali usafi wake mwenyewe au kuwa mchafu, kunuka mdomo na soksi.
Kulalamika mbele za watu au kulaumu mwenzake mbele za watu.
Kutumia muda mwingi kuwa tayari kwa kila kitu.
Kushindwa kuchagua nguo au kuwa mbishi pale mwenzake anapendekeza nguo za kuvaa.
Kuwa ovyo katika masuala ya vyakula, hataki kula au kuchagua mno.
Kutorudisha vitu mahali pake baada ya kutumia.
Kuacha taa zinawaka.

Je, ni tabia gani mumeo/mkeo au mchumba wako anazo na zinakukera?

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Kindness in Marriage

How Kind are You?

Without kindness in your relationship, your marriage won't last. Here are some ways to check up on yourself to see how kind you are in your marriage:

You say "yes" a lot more than "no" when your spouse asks for a favor or for help.

You are willing to share that last piece of pie or cookie because being kind is being generous.

You listen with your heart.

You don't interrupt your spouse.

You are polite and say "please" and "thank you" when speaking to your spouse.

You show respect for your mate.

You let your spouse know how much he/she is appreciated

You don't roll your eyes when your spouse says something you disagree with.

You routinely look for the good in your spouse.

You are helpful.

You don't allow unkind comments to flow from your lips.

You are sure that your teasing is fun and not hurtful.


Monday, July 7, 2008

Golden Rules


Five Golden Rules of caring Husbands
Get home by 8 p.m.
Eat dinner with your family.
Say thanks to your wife for all that she does.
Call your wife by name rather than saying "you" or grunting at her.
Look your wife in the eyes when talking to her.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Sound of his name= Anna Zengeya. www.itanimadima.net

I wish you all the best for your nice weekend. Remember God is so Great and his name is wonderful.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Unataka Mke Asipende Tendo la Ndoa!

Ukifanya haya Yafuatayo mke wako atajitahidi sana kukwepa tendo la ndoa hasa kama unahisi hupo interested sana na sex na hutaki kusumbuliwa.

Isipokuwa kama unataka kuwa na uhusiano mzuri na kufurahia tendo la ndoa na mke wako basi achana kabisa na tabia Zifuatazo.



Hakikisha unakuwa na utaratibu usiobadilika yaani muda ule ule, sehemu ileile, kitanda kile kile na style ileile miaka nenda miaka rudi wakati wa tendo la ndoa.

kama una harufu mbaya basi Jitahidi kila unapotegemea kuwa na tendo la ndoa hiyo harufu mbaya inakuwa maradufu.

Mguse mwili wake pale tu Ukitaka tendo la ndoa.

Usimbusu wala kumkumbatia, au kushikana naye hadi pale ukiona inataka sex tu, kwa njia hiyo akiona unambusu au unamkumbatia au unamshika atajua unataka sex, unakuwa unamrahisishia sana maana anajua alama zako kwake kupata sex.


hakikisha unamlazimisha kufanya tendo la ndoa, awe anataka au hataki wewe ndo kichwa cha nyumba lazima akusikilize na tendo la ndoa ni haki yako, Umetoa hata mahari halafu anakata?

Kama unaona anakupa dalili kwamba hana interest na tendo la ndoa usikubali, wewe ni kichwa cha nyumba anahitaji kukutii.


Usipoteze muda mwingi kwa ajili ya maandalizi (foreplay) nenda moja kwa moja kwenye shughuli yenyewe.

Kwa nini utumie muda wako kufanya vitu ambavyo ninakupotezea muda, hata hivyo kwa nini mpoteze muda mwingine kwa kubusiana, kushikana shikana, kuchezeana wakati mnahitaji kulala na kesho kwenda kazini? Siyo busara kupoteza muda wakati mna majukumu mengi muhimu.

kama hana jipya wakati wa kufanya mapenzi mwambie ajirekebishe na mwambie wakati ule mpo kwenye tendo la ndoa, na kama hana ujuzi mwambie pia kwani kwa nini yeye asiwe na ujuzi wakati wanawake wengine wana ujuzi yeye ana Matatizo gani. Si vizuri kubaki kimya wakati unaona hana jipya au hana skills zozote kitandani.


Kama mwonekano wake anatatizo mseme sana. Kama ameanza kunenepeana mpe vidonge vyake na mwambie ukweli jinsi anavyokufanya upoteze hamu ya kufanya naye mapenzi. Hiyo inampa motivation yeye kujirekebisha au kupunguza unene wake.

Kama hufurahi kitu chochote kuhusu yeye mwambie on the spot na uwe serious kama mwanajeshi vile.


Kama umepigiwa simu wakati upo kwa tendo la ndoa basi unaweza kuacha kwanza then pokea simu kwani huwezi kujua simu ina umuhimu gani. Unaweza kufanya sex muda wowote kwa nini uzime simu au uache kupokea? Inawezekana ni miaka sasa umekuwa unapata sex kwa nini mke akasirike kwa wewe kupokea simu?

Wakati wa Tendo la ndoa wale usimuumize kitu chochote, wewe assume kila kitu kilo fine, labda yeye kuuliza.

Usipoteze muda kuwa na maongezi ya faragha na yeye, ukiona yupo tayari kwa tendo la ndoa hakikisha unafanya haraka iwezekanavyo ili upate muda wa kulala kama ni usiku. Pia kwa nini uwe na maongezi wakati hata kesho mnaweza kuongea. Usipoteze muda wakati tendo la ndoa ni haki yako.

Hakikisha tangu asubuhi unakuwa na majibu ya mkato kwa maswali anayokuuliza, jibu kavu kavu. Ukiona anakulazimisha kukuongelesha Jitahidi kuzira kabisa. Pia achana na mambo ya kusifiana ukiwa na mke wako wenyewe au hata mbele za watu.

Jitahidi kuwa kutozoeleka na mke wako, yaani awe anakuogopa kama simba hata ukirudi nyumbani ajione kweli sasa mume kaja mnyime kabisa uhuru kwani ukikosea akajua wewe ni dhaifu atakutawala kitu ambacho ni aibu sana kwa mwanaume.

Usitegemee kuwa na ndoa imara kama utafanya haya, ni muhimu sana kuyakwepa kwa uwezo wako wote.

Pia utamu na furaha ya ndoa ni kuishi kwa upendo, furaha na amani na kuridhishwa kimapenzi.

Achana kabisa na hizi tabia!