"Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up."

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Baba na Bintiye!

Kuna tafiti nyingi zimefanywa ili kuangalia ni jinsi gani baba anaweza kuathiri maisha ya mahusiano ya mtoto wake wa kike na wanaume wengine akiwa mkubwa.
Ukweli ni kwamba baba huathiri sana future ya binti yake katika mahusiano na wanaume.

Baba ni role model na mwanaume wa kwanza kwa binti kujua anaweza kuongea nao vipi na hata socialization na wanaume wengine baadae akiwa shule au katika maisha yake.

Pia utafiti uliofanywa na Vanderbilt University huko New Zealand, umeonesha kwamba watoto wa kike ambao huwa karibu (close & supportive) na baba (au wazazi) huchelewa kubalehe kuliko watoto wa kike ambao huwa mbali na baba (Wazazi).
Hii ina maana kwamba watoto wa kike ambao hupata upendo wa baba huweza kuzalisha homoni za pheromones zinazozuia kubalehe haraka, na wale ambao hukosa upendo na ukaribu wa baba hizo homoni za pheromones huchochea kuwahi kubalehe kwa binti hasa kutokana na binti kujihusisha na wanaume ambao ni nje ya familia.

Pia utafiti huo umeonesha antenna za mahusiano za mabinti hujielekeza kwa baba zaidi kuliko kwa mama tangu binti anapokuwa mdogo hadi anakuwa mtu mzima hii ina maana kwamba maisha ya baba pamoja na malezi yana effect kubwa sana kwa binti yake na mahusiano yake akiwa mkubwa.
Hii ina maana kwamba maisha ya ndoa ya binti hutegemea pia baba aliishi vipi na binti yake pamoja na mama yake na familia kwa ujumla.

Hata hivyo katika jamii bado tunakutana na akina baba ambao ni wanatunza familia, wengine huthalilisha mabinti zao, wengine hukimbia watoto wao (anaweza kuwa wa kike), wengine hutesa mama wengine hupendelea watoto wao wakiume na kuacha binti na mama yake.

Baba uwe makini!

Sources: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0FCR/is_4_35/ai_84017198/pg_1?tag=artBody;col1
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/1999/09/990927064822.htm

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is realy interesting and seems to be true!

ashura said...

you are right because when a girl is little, her dad is her primary male love relationship. When he gives her something as a man, she learns lessons about men, setting a template in those early years on her heart about what to expect, to think, to feel, and know about men from there on out, affecting even her relationship to God, because Christ is a man.
father's influence builds up self-esteem, helps his daughter to avoid sex, drugs, alcohol, and stay in college. What it is that a father offers is that he carries an authority in his daughter's eyes. This authority is not ascribed to the mother, not that she is not important, but a father's influence is different.
upo sahihi mtaalam wetu lazarus'

Anonymous said...

This is very true - sasa tunaomba utuletee ya wamama wanaowapenda wa watoto wao wakiume na jinsi wanavyo changia kuja kuharibu ndoa zao in future! What you should educate us on, is how these mothers should help their sons to build up their lives without intefering!

Anonymous said...

Kaka upo sawa kabisa ila napenda kuwaasa wanaume kuwa wasije kula kuku pamoja na mayai yake kwani moto wa Mungu hutamuacha yeyote atendae dhambi.
Msafiri

Lazarus Mbilinyi said...

Ni kweli,
Mama pia huchangia sana vipi mtoto wa kiume na uhusiano wake na wanawake baadae.
Kaka Msafiri ni kweli kuna wanaume wadhalilishaji ambao huweza hata kutembea na mabinti zao (incest) dhambi na tabia mbaya sana.
Hilo halikubaliki kabisa katika jamii za leo.
Ingawa wazungu ndo wanaongoza (si wote) na hii tabia ya baba kutembea na binti yake au mtoto kijana wa kiume kutembea na dada yake (sex).
Hata Tanzania kuna kabila moja sikumbuki sana ni lipi limekuwa na tabia ya akina baba kutembea (sex) na watoto (mabinti zao)
Mungu atuepushe

Yasinta Ngonyani said...

kweli mungu atuepushe kabisa kwani ni dhambi kubwa sana na tabia mbaya sanakufanya mapenzi na binti yako. Ni kweli kabisa kama walivyosema waliotangulia mahusianao ya akina baba na mabinti zao ni mkubwa mno. Imetokea wanapotimia kuwa watu wazima wanawaambia baba zo sio mama zao. ajabu kidogo.

Fikirikwanza said...

Hizi pilipli vipi mbona mnazira kwa kubugia tuu. Mkifikiria sana sababau kubwa haitokakani na hao wanao itwa kinababa bali inaweza kuwa majukumu ya familia hayajulikani kwa wahusika. Mambo mengi ya watoto wa kike likiwepo la namna mtoto wa kike anavyo takiwa kujibehave mbele ya dingi yake ni mambo ambayo mwanamke yoyete ndani ya ndoa anawajibika. Kama huyu mother analala tu basi baba atachukua majukumu ambayo si yake na mwisho unakuwa si bora. Mie binafsi naona katika hili wanawake nao wanahusika sana na inabidi wachukue majukumu yao.