"Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up."

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Tujadili basi!

Kama una aibu unaweza kujifunika, lakini lazima issue iongelewe! Sex ni somo au kitu ambacho ni exciting duniani, hata hivyo ni kitu kigumu sana na husumbua sana kujadili na hii inatokea mara nyingi kwa wale walio kwenye ndoa.

Mwanaume na ujanja wake wote kuna wakati hujikuta ananywea kuongelea suala la sex au kumshirikisha mke mpenzi nini wafanye ili wanapokuwa mwili mmoja kuwa na kuridhika kwa kila mmoja.
Pia wapo wanawake huogopa kuongea bayana na wazi kile wanahitaji kwa mume au mahusiano na kwa kuwa kuna stima kubwa kwa mwanamke kuwa passive kwenye ndoa matokeo kila mmoja anakula jiwe na wote huishia kuumia na kuugulia wakati wanandoa wengine duniani wanaongea na kuweka sawa mambo yao chumbani bila woga.

Kawaida unavyochelewa au kuacha kuongelea issue hii ya sex kwenye kuta nne za chumba chenu ndivyo inazidi kuwa ngumu zaidi na huzidi kuwapa disconnection ya feeling kwenu wawili.

Jambo la msingi ni kufanya haya Yafuatayo:-
Omba Mungu akupe hekima na busara ili uweze kujadiliana na mume wako au mke wako kwa upendo na wazi issue hii, wewe unadhani uliondoka kwa wazazi wako kuja kwake ili iweje kama si kupata mtu ambaye atakupa hitaji la mwili wako.
Hii issue ni muhimu kuijadilia kama mnavyojadili mipango mingine ya familia kama fedha na miradi.

Tafuta muda ambao wewe na mwenzi wako mnaweza kukaa chini na kujadili, tafuta sehemu ambayo imetulia na hamuwezi kusumbuliwa na kitu chochote.

Muhakikishie kwamba unampenda na onesha msingi wa upendo ulio nao kwake, elezea hisia zako halisi na kwamba kuna kitu ambacho hukipati katika maisha ya ndoa, na kwamba ungependa muongelee na ukipate.

Hatua kubwa na ya msingi ni kwa wote kukubali kwamba kuna tatizo.
Ukweli ni kwamba ukiona unashindwa kuongelea issue za sex kwenye ndoa, maana yake mnashindwa kuongelea mambo mengi ya msingi.
Pia kuongelea suala la sex ndani ya ndoa huweza kuwaweka karibu zaidi na wanawake hupenda sana hii topic kwani huonesha mwanaume anajali.

Tegemea kupata solution na uwe positive kwani unaweza kushinda tatizo lolote kwa kumtegemea Mungu

Wafilipi 4:13.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

SYDNEY (Reuters Life!) – Living happily ever after needn't only be for fairy tales. Australian researchers have identified what it takes to keep a couple together, and it's a lot more than just being in love.

A couple's age, previous relationships and even whether they smoke or not are factors that influence whether their marriage is going to last, according to a study by researchers from the Australian National University.

The study, entitled "What's Love Got to Do With It," tracked nearly 2,500 couples -- married or living together -- from 2001 to 2007 to identify factors associated with those who remained together compared with those who divorced or separated.

It found that a husband who is nine or more years older than his wife is twice as likely to get divorced, as are husbands who get married before they turn 25.

Children also influence the longevity of a marriage or relationship, with one-fifth of couples who have kids before marriage -- either from a previous relationship or in the same relationship -- having separated compared to just nine percent of couples without children born before marriage.

Women who want children much more than their partners are also more likely to get a divorce.

A couple's parents also have a role to play in their own relationship, with the study showing some 16 percent of men and women whose parents ever separated or divorced experienced marital separation themselves compared to 10 percent for those whose parents did not separate.

Also, partners who are on their second or third marriage are 90 percent more likely to separate than spouses who are both in their first marriage.

Not surprisingly, money also plays a role, with up to 16 percent of respondents who indicated they were poor or where the husband -- not the wife -- was unemployed saying they had separated, compared with only nine percent of couples with healthy finances.

And couples where one partner, and not the other, smokes are also more likely to have a relationship that ends in failure.

Factors found to not significantly affect separation risk included the number and age of children born to a married couple, the wife's employment status and the number of years the couple had been employed.

The study was jointly written by Dr Rebecca Kippen and Professor Bruce Chapman from The Australian National University, and Dr Peng Yu from the Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs.

Lazarus Mbilinyi said...

Asante kwa hiyo research.
Kila kitu ni muhimu kama kuna research hata hivyo linapokuja suala la ndoa na mahusiano research yoyote huathiriwa sana na utamaduni wa watu wanaohusika. Tamaduni nyingi za nchi zilizoendelea kuhusu mahusiano ni tofauti kwa asilimia zaidi ya 80 ukilinganisha na nchi zinazoendelea hii ina maana kwamba sababu inayofanya Tanzania wanandoa wadumu katika ndoa wangekuwa Canada wangeachana kwa lawyer kulipwa fedha za kutosha.
Hivyo baadhi ya tafiti ni sahihi sehemu zingine ila na huleta matokeo tofauti kwa sehemu nyingine.
Bottom line ni kila mwandoa kuangalia Biblia ambayo ina results za research kutoka kizazi hadi kizazi inasemaje

Anyway, thanks for the comments

God bless you so much!