"Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up."

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Kuchukuliana!

Tukioa na kuolewa tunazama kwenye udhaifu na kwenye uchumba tunaona uzuri tu!Kabla ya ndoa au wakati wa uchumba wengi hujikuta wakiwa makini sana katika kuangalia uimara wa wapenzi wao na baada ya ndoa hujikuta wakijikita katika kuangalia udhaifu (weakness) za mwenzi wao.
Hii ni kwa sababu wakati wa uchumba wawili wanaopendana hujihusisha katika kuburudishana kwa maana kwamba wakati mwingi hutumia kuwa na social activities na kila mmoja huwa na romantic interest.

Wakiingia kwenye ndoa mambo huwa tofauti (waliooa na kuolewa anafahamu na kama hujaolewa au kuoa huwezi elewa kwani hujafika hii hatua) kwani hapa ni uwajibikaji (task oriented maana wawili hawa sasa wanatakiwa ku-share skills zako in reality.

Kuwa na udhaifu fulani ambao mwenzako inabidi akuchukulie ni hitaji la kila mmoja na halikwepeki kwani ni kitu ambacho kipo kwa ajili ya kutuwezesha kufanya marekebisho ya kujuana kupitia tofauti zilizopo ili kuwa na ndoa iliyo imara zaidi.

Jambo la msingi hapa ni kujifunza tofauti zilizopo na udhaifu uliopo na kuchukuliana, na pia ni jambo lililowazi kwamba huwezi kumpata mtu hapa duniani ambaye hana udhaifu au hana kasoro au amekamilika kila eneo la maisha, it is next to impossible.
Kama unaota kwamba siku moja unataka umpate partner ambaye hataumiza moyo wako unakosea sana kwani kila kwenye upendo kuumia moyo kupo.

Pia ni vizuri kufahamu kwamba kuna mambo duniani bila kujalisha umesoma kiasi gani, una akili kiasi gani, au una uwezo kiasi gani au jamii inakuamini kiasi gani bila Mungu inakuwa bado ni zero kubwa.

Mwanandoa analiye na hofu ya Mungu (ameokoka siyo mwenye dini) na ambaye amejazwa Roho mtakatifu yupo tofauti na mwanandoa yeyote duniani hasa linapokuja suala la kuchukuliana udhaifu na mwenzi wake.
Je tofauti hiyo ipoje?

Binadamua tunatabia ya kuona mabaya kwa wengine hata mke au mume badala ya mazuri.
Hivyo ili kukubali udhaifu wa partner wako unahitaji sifa 9 ambazo zinapatikana Galatia 5: 22-23
Mwanandoa wa aina hii huweza kufurahia ndoa kwa sababu anaweza kushinda kumchukulia mwenzake udhaifu wote kwa kuwezeshwa na Roho mtakatifu.
Kutembea katika roho huweza kufanya udhaifu wa partner wako kuwa si kitu.

Tofauti ya wanandoa haitakiwa kuwa janga kwani kile ambacho wanandoa wanafanya wakati wa mgogoro au tofauti huelezea success au failure ya ndoa.

Ndoa nyingi ambazo leo tunaona nzuri zilipitia conflicts hata hivyo kupitia conflict (siyo zote) zilisaidia wahusika kujuana na kufahamiana vizuri na kupendana zaidi.

NB:
Marriage is one of the most gratifying and difficult of all human relationships.
Preparing well for it is a great gift to give your future spouse and the children who will join your sacred union.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I agree with the post and that is why "When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife"

USA

Anonymous said...

Hahaha sure!
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

AMMMMMM

Anonymous said...

This makes sense!
Nakubaiana!
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.